Would M.C. Poke kid you?
Thursday, March 12th, 2009Jerry Jones, having issued a speaking ban on all life and quasi-life forms working in PokeLand, has assumed the mantel of Master and Commander of All Things Poke, a/k/a M.C. Poke. Our main man, Just Jerry, is looking to sell some additional tickets out there in Jerry World, which is scheduled to open up for Serious Poke Play this coming August! Can you even believe that? So lucky are we. I’m hearing that NBC and ABC and FOX and ESPN all want to televise the first game. It’s going to be like Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, with M.C. Poke changing into a sweater and talking to all us boys and girls in soft, reassuring tones. I can’t wait! Assuming a proper disinterest in the product on the field, this is a dilly of a time to be a Poke fan.
So, anyhow, we locals are being bombarded with advertisements about getting season tickets to watch America’s Team, your very own Dallas Cowboys, in person, live!!! from Jerry World for less than $1,300 per year! What a deal! Quel deal! Muy dealo! Gee whiz, with eight home games during the regular season and two exhibition games a year, that’s a steal. Someone’s stealing something from someone, right? Why jeepers creepers, that’s ten games for a mere less than $1,300, an average of $130 per game ~ ~ no more than your average bi-weekly tab for lattes at the recently shuttered Starbucks located down the road from your home. (Look for Roy Williams, # 31 before he became # 38, asking if you want foam with that.)
As it turns out, according the the Pokesite I visited from espn.com, the Cows are selling these less than $1,300 duckets for a $1,558 down stroke and $1,298 per year. I practice The Dark Arts ~ Law ~ not something gay and smiley like accounting or mathematics. I may be off on my calculations here. But I’m thinking that if you buy and hold this ticket, and if you reup on your ticket for 779 years, your average cost, with the amortized down payment, would actually be $1,300 per year by Year No. 779. And by Year No. 780, 2789 AD, you’ll truly be in “less than $1,300″ territory.
Another good thing about this? I’m almost positive the Cows win a playoff game before then.
On another matter, did you hear Buttercup Puffalump tout that he enjoyed coaching T.O.? Yup, he said that after T.O. was cut. I guess M.C. Poke’s decree on speaking Pokealicious Pokeisms was lifted long enough for Buttercup to speak out. It was touching, watching those vacant eyes staring off into space while a flat monotone robotted out: “I  en   joye   duh   coa   ching   T   .   O   .”
[Note to staff: Whoever's on the marionette strings, be more subtle pulling the strings next time. And synch up the lip movements to the words.]
