Cowboys Screwed Again in 2009 NFL Scheduling . . .
Once again, the NFL has seen fit to schedule Dallas for games in December with a wrap up game in January. This despite the pleas from Jerry Jones, Master and Commander of All Things Poke, to adjust the Cowboys schedule so that they play five games in September, six in October and the final five in November. Jones suggested that playing every 5.625 days (16 games in 91 days means a game every five days and 15 hours) wouldn’t work a hardship on the Cowboys or their opponents or, most importantly, on the TV networks.
The Pokes are scheduled to start at noon in Tampa Bay on September 13th. That game, of course, must be moved back to Monday, August 31st at 800 pm. Their next game, against the Giants, will start five days and 15 hours later, which will be Saturday, September 5th at 300 am (technically, Sunday, September 6th). Next the Cowboys head to the Panthers on the 11th at 600 pm. You can catch the drift here. There’s a rhythm to it all.
This will allow Dallas to avoid the dreaded Annual December/January Flush and that, along with a national lottery on when Buttercup Puffalump gets fired as head coach, will bring the zing back to America’s Team.
p.s.   The pre-season over/under on Buttercup Puffalump’s Sacking with a Velvet Blade as (here’s where we use those dreaded finger quotes) “head coach” and his simultaneous ascension to the Dan Reeves Memorial Consulting and Time Clock Punching Gig is 5 1/2 games. This coincides with the bye week. By the bye, Dallas will be 2 - 2 - 1, eeking out victories over the multi-befuddled TBucs and the Cutless Broncos and getting squished by the Giants and Panthers. The Matt Cassel Chiefs will fight the Pokes to a draw through regulation play and overtime and the extra, nonsanctioned overtime that The Jerry will insist on. How very exciting.